UK Fashion, Beauty & Lifestyle Blog

Sunday, 16 April 2017

How To Attract A Man....

For those of you that follow me on twitter, you might already have a little insight into what this post is about, but for those of you who don't? Let me explain..
So, I work in the ambulance service.. there's a large population of staff that are male and 'banter' is something that comes with the job and if I'm honest.. I love it. I'm not easily offended or argumentative, but something that a male nurse said to me the other day really got me thinking ( and tweeting ha).
I was told that if I wanted to attract a man I should wear less makeup.
The first thing I'd like to point out is that I didn't approach the subject of wanting to attract a man in the slightest.. in fact, I was just talking to another member of staff when I was offered the 'advice'. 
Bizarrely it seemed to come from a 'good place'? as much as it was inherently wrong.. in my opinion anyway. It was also a little bizarre to me that wearing makeup for myself was totally incomprehensible.
So, I took to twitter to ask some of you guys the reasons why you wore makeup.. was it for yourself? or to attract a partner? I thought that I already knew the answer but I guess there was part of me that wondered... 'Am I the only one who wears makeup to make myself feel better?'
You might not be surprised to find out that 95% of the wonderful humans that had their say, said that they totally wore makeup for themselves. The lovely Beth from whatshedid said 'It makes me feel good. It's my passion. Ain't no man coming between me and my makeup brushes' and the idea that makeup makes us feel good ran through the whole thread, with Rebecca saying 'It's my armour. My mask. My conformation to myself that I've got my shit together and can take what is thrown at me' and after having a conversation with Tessa who said that she wore makeup for both herself and others, we then came to the conclusion that it wasn't so much to 'attract' someone else, but 'it is just to feel more presentable!'
I guess that there's a few things going on here.. 
Firstly, a little bit of unsolicited advice that I didn't want or need. Lessons on how to attract a man? No thanks.
Secondly, did he speak for all men? Does every male that I encounter think that I'm trying to 'attract' him because I'm wearing makeup?
Thirdly, there was absolutely no doubt in my mind.. I did not pause for a mere nanosecond before responding 'I wear it for myself'.. but I wonder if perhaps we need to unpick this a little more?
Topshop Blazer(old) & Joni Jeans, FanClubClothing Tee, New Look Boots, JewelleryBox Jewellery
 
So yeah... I wear makeup because it makes me feel good. It makes me feel 'put together' and prepared to take on whatever the day has in store for me. It actually has that much of a positive impact on my drive that my - wonderful, beautiful, sassy as hell - friend Elle and I are forever encouraging each other to wear a red lip on a down or difficult day because it just gives us something.. something extra. I believe it's called sass?

 I guess where I'm a little confused, is where that good feeling comes from.. is it something that makes me feel good because I'm changing how other people see me? Maybe.. Do I sometimes use it as a bit of a barrier and defense mechanism? Probably.. but do I wear it 'to attract a man'... No.. no I do not. I'm fully aware that if someone was attracted to me, I'd need them to be attracted to my creepy little gremlin face that hides under the makeup too.. but more than that.. I'd need them to be attracted to the kind of person I am.. my actions.. and my beliefs.
Admittedly, I'd never turn up to a date all bare gremlin faced.. but I wouldn't turn up to any situation where I was meeting someone new or doing something fancy with my gremlin face.. cause I enjoy the way makeup makes me feel and actually yeah.. I enjoy the way that it can make me look. I enjoy the application of it, of picking shades and colours.... the constant struggle for the perfect winged liner and the sassy red lip.

I guess I'm just at the point where I'm thinking..
 No one has the right to tell you why you're doing things and to do them differently
If you don't want to wear makeup? Awesome, I stand by you girl.. equally, if you're rocking a wing and a bold lip.. I'm gonna go ahead and compliment you on your application of that wing because.. I stand by you girl.

Oh, and also.. a little sidenote - you should never have to change yourself to 'attract' someone. It's not necessary and it doesn't work anyway. Stay true to yourself.. I'm sure there are potential partners out there somewhere that aren't distraught at the sight of your glittery eyeshadow.

So... when this post goes live I will have just finished a night shift and do you think I'm wearing my usual full face of expensive beauty gunk? 
You bet I am.

So come on then guys... what's your stance on this whole thang? Lets chat.

X


*For a chance to win all of the jewellery I'm wearing in this post, head over to my Instagram *

SHARE:

10 comments

  1. This is such a brilliant post. I find that I really, really enjoy putting on make up. It's creative and relaxing. I have most of my good ideas while putting on mascara or brushing my teeth. It's now just part of my morning routine, it helps me to wake up and get into the day. I couldn't care less about what some random man thinks about my eyeshadow. If he doesn't like eyeshadow he doesn't have to wear it, and I don't need to bow to his opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I completely agree with what you've said. The idea of wearing makeup to impress a partner completely baffles me & I'd probably have come back with the exact same response that you did. I put makeup up on to make me feel like the best me, it's part of my routine & it's comforting to me. I've loved reading this post!!
    Claire.X
    www.clairemac.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ally and your beautiful not-at-all-gremlin-like face, thank you for speaking up! My cousin and I have just recorded an entire podcast episode about this. I wear makeup because I like how it looks on me. It's frustrating and somewhat amusing actually that some men think that women consider their opinions so deeply, when we decide how to look. That's certainly not the kind of man I'd want. And you know what? On the days when I get it spot on, it's compliments from other women I'd be bothered about because they truly understand the eyeliner struggle xox

    ReplyDelete
  4. I was told (also unsolicited advice from out of the blue) that I needed to stop being "such a boy" if I wanted to "catch a man". Apparently liking comics, music and food are for boys only and not girls. I should wear dresses more and trainers less. Etc.

    I am a tomboy who likes dresses. If someone has a problem with that they are for me, nor I for them. Simple.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This is another one of those stupid things men think it's ok to think and say. It's like you should smile more or you shouldn't dress in a certain way, like every element of how we look is for someone else. It seems crazy to me that you wouldn't think I person wants to a certain way for themselves rather than anyone else!
    Lauren
    livinginaboxx | bloglovin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Uhhh the 'smile more' gets me every time! So bloody rude. Immy x

      Delete
  6. Love this post Ally! Wearing makeup should be for no other purpose than the fact that you enjoy doing it or wearing it! I wish it wasn't seen as something used to impress people or a man! xxx

    ReplyDelete
  7. YES Ally, this post is spot on. I find it so odd when people just come out with these comments and think it is ok? Makeup is such a personal thing, I find makeup such a ritual that makes me feel on top of things and gives me that extra little confidence boost. The boyf doesn't bat and eyelid if I am wearing it or not haha! It is also the same with how we dress, I never dress to attract the opposite sex, I dress to either feel comfortable or feel sassy because I need it! Immy x

    www.immymay.com

    ReplyDelete
  8. That is seriously so rude! As if it's your sole purpose in life to attract a man. Ew.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think your post are very good. It is very useful. Thank for sharing And this is my site about phong thủy học . You can refer if needed. Thank you again

    ReplyDelete

Blogger Template Created by pipdig