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Sunday, 15 January 2017

Personal Notes For 2017

Well then.. wasn't 2016 the rollercoaster you never saw coming?
You reached some personal highs and some incredible lows and I think that it's important to remember that although sometimes it can feel like you haven't moved forward one bit and that you're stuck right back where you were... you've learned SO MUCH and you really have grown as a person.
You've grown up - and you can stop pulling that face right now, it's true. You've taken responsibility for yourself.. for your feelings and your actions. You've moved into a flat on the other side of town - ONYOUROWN - bought a new car.. you've managed to hold down your job without getting the sack despite your numerous hair colours and you've allowed yourself to be vulnerable and have an open heart with another human being despite all of the fear and anxiety that being broken hearted again brought to your door.
Life has been hard sometimes, but you've learned to remain soft and how integral that is to your values. You've learned the importance of not being defined by others actions and words, and that even when it feels like you're backed into a corner, like your very core is being attacked... to remain true to yourself and to still be 'nice'.
In fact... you've learned that 'being nice' is underrated and that actually, offering a warm smile and a friendly ear can do wonders for others but also for yourself. 
Whilst we're on that note.. you've managed to consolidate and grow friendships with some really important people ( people that are compassionate, caring, honest and really DO have your back) and my God if you don't continue with that into 2017 I'll probably hurt you.
I know that you've seen life.. and a fair bit of death... that's only going to continue but I think it's important to keep dealing with it in the way that you are. You're tougher than you were and you were told that you would be...(much to your disapproval of course.) The thing is, being 'tough' is fine.. it's good to be able to deal with what life throws at you.. it's a really good tool to have but don't go turning cold on me. Always keep that sense of fun and warmth.. it's integral to your being and it's one of your most important qualities. 
Your ability to laugh through the hard times is something that you've really developed in the last few years or so and it's done you nothing but good. 
Stop taking things so personally. 
Sometimes people are just dicks, or maybe they're not even bad people they're just not 'your' people and that's okay too. I know you find it hard to loose people but you're getting better at accepting change and that's great.. take that attitude into the new year and you'll feel much more stable. 2016 was the year that you really realised that life isn't black and white.. you're constantly evolving, growing and changing  and that despite how initially overwhelming that feels.. there's something quite freeing about that.
Photo's by Lauren
So, with all that you've learned and left behind.. here's a few things to keep & accept:
-> Keep your passion 
-> Keep laughing - even when you're shit scared
-> Keep making an effort with those who are important to you
-> Keep your softness.. it suits you.
-> Keep questioning things.. no-one ever learned anything by just accepting everything.
-> Keep up with yoga and mediation... (In fact.. put a lot more time into this. Talking about doing it isn't the same as doing it once a year doesn't count)
-> Keep your heart open and keep allowing vulnerability into your life. 
-> Accept that you can't help everyone. 
-> Accept yourself and your body. You're not just an object of aesthetics.. your body does incredible things.. stop punishing it.
-> Accept that you can't do everything at once. Prioritise and learn to take breaks.
-> Accept that you will be hurt again and you will have shit times but also accept that you will get through it.. no day is the same as another and you are more capable than you feel.
-> Accept that you're not obese, and that it wouldn't matter if you were - for God's sake.
-> Accept that you need time to travel, to gaze at the sky, to get lost in a book.. you won't be inspired if you don't allow yourself the time to be.
-> Accept that asking for what you want doesn't make you selfish.
-> Keep growing, Keep faith, Keep asking how and why, Keep strong

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