UK Fashion, Beauty & Lifestyle Blog

Sunday, 21 June 2015

I Have News...

 
Okay.. so.. I don't really know where to start. I guess firstly, this is more of a post for those of you who might be interested in what's going on in my life, and secondly for those of you who might wonder what's up with my posting schedule in the next few months. 
God... this is so weird.. I've been wanting to write this post for six months but I just wasn't in a position to and now I am.. I'm actually terrified. Terrified of letting you in.. and terrified of what happens if I fail. More than that though.. I'm excited.. and I'm proud.. and yeah.. still terrified.
Do you remember seeing weird items in my youtube hauls? Or cryptic tweets about being nervous?
Well... In two weeks time I'm beginning the journey to becoming a Paramedic. 
(I'm beginning that journey in perhaps the coolest way by driving ambulance around at speed... sick)
All I can hear is you crying 'DA FUQ'?! so.. let me explain in the best way that I can:

Let me first start by saying that in some ways.. this is just as odd to me as it is to you. I've grown up an artist.. constantly having to defend my field and its worth. I love fashion, and makeup.. not biology and gore.... but amongst all of that? I care about people.. so much. I want to be the person that arrives in your family's hour of need, and I want to be good enough at my job so that I can reassure you that everything is going to be okay. I want to make your experience with trauma a little easier, and I want to reassure you that you're no bother, that you're worth my care and that things will get better. 
I want to treat people how I'd like my loved ones to be treated and ultimately, I want to feel worth for what I do.

It's a personal thing I think... self worth... There's so many awesome jobs that I think are so sick and cool and all of positive things and I'd love to have them.. but I've grown to realise that what makes me tick... as cliche as it sounds.. is 'making a difference'. (I'm aware that there's millions of ways of doing this but for me.. right now? This is the the way I want to do it)
I always wanted my artwork to be so inspiring.. so engaging that it changed people's lives and their outlooks.. I wanted them to look back on the moment that they experienced my work and remember it as the moment that their life changed. 
But y'know what? 
I wasn't good enough.
or at least.. 
My goals were too high.
It's taken me years to be able to admit this to myself without having some sort of breakdown but right now? I'm actually fine with it. I was scared that people might look negatively on me 'giving up' or 'running away'.. and as much as I truly believe that if you want something enough then you work hard for it.. you also have to know when it's time to try something different and for me? That time is now.
I've had six months of assesments, interviews, fitness tests and driving tests and yesterday I finally passed the final hurdle to enable me to start the course in two weeks time. 

The reality is.. that I could still fail in 6 weeks time but there's also a chance that I won't.. that I'll be the one people look for when they're scared, and that.. that would be a greater gift than I can imagine.
I know it sounds like I'm romanticising the role a bit here.. ( I have a tendency to do that about a lot of things) but I know that I'll also be dealing with a lot of drunk people.. agressive people and those that are just looking to cause trouble but on the flip side to that...actively improving - or even saving - someone's life? It's worth it I think.

I guess.. If I'm totally honest and open about this.. I feel like the only way to heal myself is to heal other people. Does that make sense? Not that I'm doing this all out of some weird self obsessed belief about my own worth and importance but more that.. I understand what it is to need help, and what it is to feel like you're drowning and I want to be the person that saves you rather than tells you to 'learn how to swim'. In a way it's like.. even if sometimes I can't help myself.. I want to help others who think they can't be helped. 
Perhaps I'm just rambling..

On top of all of it's positives.. this role will also enable me to move out in a few months.. and maybe even get somewhere with my boyfriend... It'll mean that I'll actually be able to afford things occasionally rather than living in my overdraft  (and omg all of the homeware hauls) ((I've already planned out my 'blogging &  youtube' room)) and seriously.. these things could not come quick enough.

I'm still a blogger.. through and through and someday maybe I'll take it full-time again, but before that point there's a few things I've just gotta live through. 
I'll still be updating this little space on the internet as regularly as possible and I'll still be working with brands and bloggers and going to events when I can fit them in.
The course I'll be on has different modules that have totally different schedules so as far as I can see.. July - September looks like it might be hard to keep posting three times a week and youtubing too but it might be fine. From September onwards.. things should free up a little bit and things might settle into more of a schedule again but the thing is I just don't know.. so.. I'm just giving you a heads up I guess.

'I didn't do this to get a front row seat to other peoples tragedies, I did it because I knew the world was bleeding and so was I, and somewhere inside, I knew that the only way to stop my own bleeding was to learn how to stop someone else's. '

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60 comments

  1. Good luck Ally! You're gonna ace it!

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  2. I'M SO PROUD OF YOU! HEART BURSTING WITH PRIDE WELL DONE GORGEOUS!

    Lauren x
    Britton Loves | Lifestyle Food Beauty

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  3. This sounds super exciting for you and I applaud you for wanting to do a job like that, I certainly couldn't! Good luck with it :)

    Holly Sparkle | Petite Fashion & Lifestyle Blog

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  4. I am SO proud of you! I had a feeling this would be what your announcement was about and I'm so happy that you've gone for it - you're going to do great and I for one know that in my hour of need I would be lucky having you look after me <3
    LJLV | UK Personal Style

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    1. Wahhhh thanks pal!! awhhhh gawdddd you're too kind xx

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  5. Girly I am so so proud of you! I remember talking to you about this months ago and still feel SO inspired by you and excited for your next chapter. So amazing [insert Love heart emoji here]

    Ellie
    Xx

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    1. Haha thanks so much lovely!! Can't wait for a catch up! XX

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  6. Wow!! All the luck in the world to you! Such a positive and inspiring step to take x

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  7. This is so great! Go you. It is so hard when you want to do something cool and fun, but you also feel a bit like really you want to make a difference. I think it's so brilliant that you are going for the second option, and you'll always have your blog on the side to keep a bit of glamour going! Wishing you all the luck in the world on your course.
    Www.youngldn.co.uk

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    1. Thanks so much Amy! It was a hard choice and.. obviously I still don't know how it will work out but I'm hoping that I won't be in a position where I have to choose one thing or another! XX

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  8. Congratulations! It makes me really happy to see when people are doing what they love... We need more of this!
    The best of luck and happiness for your furture!xxx Anissa Marie

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  9. This is such an amazing role to go into, you'll really make a difference to people's lives! Congratulations and good luck! x
    eleanor's adventures // UK Fashion & Beauty Blog

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    1. Wahhh I can't wait! Thanks so much! Xx

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  10. This is so so amazing! Proud of you for finding a way that you'll be able to make a difference to so many people's lives and taking steps to achieve it. Very admirable and inspiring! Xo

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    1. Thanks so much Jennie, it means a lot! xx

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  11. Congratulations! Such an amazing role to take and I hope everything goes really well, although I'm sure it will! x

    Bethan Likes

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    1. Ahh thanks Bethan! ahaha fingers crossed!!xx

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  12. Congratulations Ally, sounds amazing. I'm sure you'll ace the course. It's great when you discover something that makes your heart sing and gives you purpose. Very inspiring. Well done! xx

    VanessaVonJames | Fashion Blog

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    1. Thanks so much Vanessa! Here's hoping!! XX

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  13. That's amazing! Good luck lovely :D xx

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  14. Wow, good luck! I'm sure you'll be absolutely amazing. What an absolutely fantastic choice.

    Rachael at broomfie.blogspot.com

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  15. Congrats Ally! It's such an honorable profession.
    Shaguna
    gold&hearts

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Shaguna! Can't wait to get started now! X

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  16. GOOD LUCK LADY! So much respect for you, I work in health care despite a background in media and journalism and couldn't give it up for anything now.

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    1. Thanks so much lady!! Ooooh really? It seems like quite a lot of creative people end up going into health care! Odd! xx

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  17. Oh wow congratulations Ally! Such an exciting time, I am so happy for you! You will be fantastic at it, I can so tell you're the kinda gal that owns anything you put your mind to!

    Shot From The Street | Fashion Blog

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    1. Thanks so much Lizzy, that's such a lovely thing to say xx

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  18. That's fantastic news - congratulations Ally! Glad to hear you'll still be updating your blog from time to time though as I'd miss it!

    http://filthypaws-and-silkydrawers.blogspot.co.uk/

    xx

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    1. Awh thanks Gal!! OOooh yes I'm by no means giving it up!! Just that my schedule might be a bit whacky for the first few months! XX

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  19. Go for it! :) you'll be amazing as long as you remember everything you wrote here.

    www.themiddlesister.co.uk

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    1. Thanks so much Alice.. that's such good advice.
      After reading your comment I actually have come back to the post to re-read it whenever I've felt nervous.. or.. unsure and it's really helped, so thanks! X

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  20. THIS IS AWESOME. YOU ARE AWESOME. AWWWWWWWESOME!!!!!

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  21. That is fantastic!!! All the luck in the world to you m'lady. Although the fact that you want to do this and seemingly for all the best reasons means you're already going to be amazing at it!
    M x

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  22. Oh my god how cooooooooooooooooooool! Good luck, good luck, good luck! I'm sure you'll do awesomely~

    Fii || little miss fii

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    1. Hahahaahhaha Fii, it IS cool isn't it!!!! Thank you! X

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  23. What a fantastic career to head in to! It's great that you could make the difference in someone's hour of need, I completely applaud your audacity to create something you want to do - turning the full time blogger aspiration on its head & saying "I WANT MORE" is totally awesome! Good luck with it all! I know we are all rooting for you.
    Bee xxx
    QueenBeady.com

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    1. Thanks so much Bee! Full on cried when I read this. It's so lovely to have your support! xxx

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  24. Ally! You already know I think you're a total ass kicker! You're going to be fantastic. All these comments are so lovely! Majorly proud of ya! x

    www.eternalsunday.co.uk

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  25. I think you're amazing. Best of luck.
    xx

    Bambi Jane

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    1. Oh gawwwd I'm really not, but thanks so much Amy! xx

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  26. Oh my gosh this is AMAZING!!! So proud of you Allie you are gonna be a kick-ass paramedic!!

    hellomissjordan.com xx

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  27. Good luck Ally, this is so amazing! You'll be great and go you for doing something different and pushing yourself!

    Emma x
    Writing Essays With Wine

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    1. Thanks so much Emma, and thanks for all of your support, it means a lot xx

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  28. Congrats that's amazing! You are so brave and I am so proud of you!!!!

    COOCOO FOR COCO

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  29. All the best Ally! You are going to rock! My dad is a paramedic and has been for 25 years. One of the most rewarding things ever to have him come home and tell us about his day!

    Ashleigh x

    ♡ Being Ashleigh - Lifestyle, Food, Photography and Fashion blog ♡

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    1. Thanks so much Ashleigh! Ahh that's amazing!! Maybe that'll be me one day! (Not a Dad.. obviously.. but you get my drift? )
      xx

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  30. This is amazing, I'm so proud of, and happy for you! Good luck, give it your all and I'm sure you'll do a fantastic job. This sounds like something you need to do for yourself, and I hope that this makes you feel more fulfilled and satisfied! <3 -x

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  31. How did I not see this post?! Ally you're amazing, and you're going to be an awesome paramedic :)

    I have a friend who's a paramedic and he says it's so rewarding. So proud of you!!

    Hazel xx

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